Loving Detachment

Loving Detachment

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One important part of mindfulness that I’ve read about and tried repeatedly to practice is detachment. It involves observing what is happening but not becoming caught up in the drama. This has been an ongoing challenge for me, particularly with my son. Today, toward the end of a very pleasant walk along the LaChute River he had a meltdown over what seemed to be a not very significant issue. While in the past I would have become much more involved and even angry about the meltdown, today I was able to detach somewhat and watch the river flow by while listening to my son tantrum in the background. It was definitely not a comfortable position to find myself in and I did feel empathy for my son while he screamed and raged. Realizing that I couldn’t do anything about it except wait for it to be over was freeing. I remained feeling calm even when he brought up the reason he was angry again when we were back in the car and heading home.

Loving detachment doesn’t mean detached from love. It’s about letting others have their emotions and not having to share in them, especially if the emotions are negative. Give it a try and let me know if it works for you.



My son is seven and I’m aspiring to be able to detach lovingly. Some days I’m more successful than others. 😉

I’ve read a lot on the Janet Lansbury blog that has helped me with this sort of response. I will often offer to hug or hold (if she lets me), or describe what emotions I see her experiencing, and acknowledge as much as I can, or tell her that I am going to stay there, that I’m there for her. But becoming comfortable with crying was a huge concept that I had to take a while to absorb.

I’ll have to check out Janet Lansbury. I haven’t been nearly so lovingly detached since I returned home to the kitchen renovation. I’m spending a lot of time trying to remember to breathe!


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