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ABC of Tiny Steps Toward Joy

A tiny collection of joyful things

I’m not a fan of posts that promise to teach you 5 ways to a flat belly or 10 things you must do to prevent your souffle from falling, but I do love a good A-Z. So I’ve been working on an ABC of Tiny Steps Toward Joy and wanted to share it with you! Please let me know if you try one (or more). They take very little time and can add up to a more joyful day.

Take a minute to find some joy

A ALLOW for fun

B Take 3 deep BREATHS

C COLOR a temporary stripe in your hair

DANCE  to your favorite song

E EAT something delicious and savor it!

F FEED the birds (and squirrels)

G Get GLITTER GEL PENS (and use them to write letters or checks with!)

H HUG yourself really tightly and tell yourself “I LOVE YOU!”

I Ask your INTUITION what you should do

J JOURNAL for 5 minutes

K KISS your loved one, your kids, your pet, or your knee

L LAUGH

M Watch the MOON

N Notice something in NATURE

O Chant “OM” in your car

P Put on some PERFUME that you love

Q Be very, very QUIET

R Draw a RAINBOW

S Display some SUNFLOWERS

T Paint your TOENAILS crazy colors

U Wear your favorite UNDERWEAR

V VIEW a sunset

W WRITE a letter to a loved one

X eXAMINE your fears and let them go

Y YAWN really loudly

Z Get some ZINNIAS

I’d love to talk with you about what brings you joy and how you include it in your life.

Our joyful greyhound, Magi

If you’re ready for more JOY and are having a hard time getting started, contact me for a complimentary 1 hour session!

 

 

Starting small…the power of turtle steps

After writing my last post and taking out my journals to photograph them, I got curious. What was I writing about in 2014? What was happening in my life? I remembered sketching the pattern of the window screen as the shadows fell on the page of my journal. Maybe I didn’t have much to say.

I started writing in February for 15-20 minutes per day. I used a little red tomato timer that ticked loudly and had a jarring alarm. I got rid of it shortly thereafter and switched to a less noisy way of telling myself it was time to stop.

Some of those early pages were barely filled. I spent time just day dreaming. What did I want to write about? I complained that my hand and arm hurt from writing. I wrote “Tonight I’m writing that I don’t know what I’m writing about.” I asked myself “Is this important?” I worried that it was selfish of me to spend 20 minutes doing something for myself. I wrote “Keep writing & see if I can get up the courage to start a blog.” I told myself “Feeling afraid is okay.” I drew a mind map from a Google invitation to make the world a better place. I wrote about possibilities and how they made me feel. I started writing with glitter gel pens. I wrote a letter to my Muse and sealed it in an envelope.

I found this poem that I wrote in that first book and wanted to share it with you because we never know where our first small steps may take us.

If You Plant a Seed…

If you plant a sleepy seed will it grow into a dream?

If you plant a crayon will it grow into a rainbow?

If you plant a stone will it grow into a mountain?

If you plant a note will it grow into a song?

If you plant a raindrop will it grow into a river?

If you plant a feather will it grow into a bird?

If you plant a fingernail will it grow into the moon?

If you plant a diamond will it grow into a star?

If you plant a smile will it grow into a friend?

If you plant a kiss will it grow into true love?

If you plant a brick will it grow into a house?

If you plant a tear will it grow into the sea?

If you plant a whisker will it grow into a kitten?

If you plant a cotton ball will it grow into a cloud?

If you plant a word will it grow into a book?

If you plant a wish, what will it grow into?

What seeds do you dream of planting? What might they become?

 

 

 

 

Making (and Taking) Time to Create

At the end of August I wrote about Heeding the Call to Create and promised that my next post would be about finding time to create. In the interim we went from Panic to Peace  with Hurricane Irma.  I also realized it’s not so much about finding time as it is about making time. So today I’m going to fulfill that August promise before September is over!

Current journal and tea – morning routine

Back in 2014 when I first started a regular “writing habit” I was thoroughly convinced that I didn’t have time to write. Even though I’d been wanting to write since I was a kid and over the years I had filled dozens of tiny spiral bound notebooks with my scribbling, I kept telling myself I didn’t have time. I was too busy. I wrote on the train on the way to work. I wrote when I was sad or angry and needed to get my feelings out. But I didn’t make it a regular part of my life. It was something I wanted to do but I was too busy.

I remember the first day I sat down at my great-grandmother’s Singer foot pedal sewing machine and started writing in a full sized journal. I set a timer for 15 minutes. I could hear my son in his bedroom, probably needing my attention at that very moment. I could feel my anxiety rising as I thought about getting dinner ready. “I really don’t have time for this.” But I sat and wrote and when the timer rang I closed my journal and put it away. And then I did it again the next day. Gradually I built up a new habit. A month or so later I read The Artist’s Way and decided to start doing Morning Pages. That required more commitment than the 15 minutes a day of “Scanner” notes which I’d been doing, While Julia Cameron claimed that you could write 3 pages longhand in 20-30 minutes I found that it was more like 35-40 minutes for me. But by that time I was hooked. I started getting up at 5:30 in the morning to give myself the time to write. And it felt great. I haven’t stopped since and it’s been over 3 years of daily writing. Yes, I even wrote before, during and after the hurricane! If you’re interested in starting a regular creativity habit, read on!

The first step is awareness that this is something you really want to do. Is there something that you always tell yourself “I’ll do that when I retire”, or “When I’m on vacation I can do that, ” or perhaps it’s “When the kids grow up”? It might not feel like a step in the right direction, but simply admitting to ourselves that there’s something that we want to do FOR ourselves is a big deal. The idea of writing regularly had been with me for several years before I started doing it. What’s been tickling the edges of your consciousness for months or even years?

The next step is looking closely at your current time commitments. Those fifteen minutes between homework and dinner didn’t seem like much time but they were enough to get me started.  Fifteen minutes was the most I could commit to when I first started. And since my goal was to write by hand it was important to start small. If you don’t use those muscles they get sore! If you’re telling yourself you can’t find fifteen minutes in your day take a closer look. Do you use Facebook? Instagram or other social media? Do you watch television? I don’t want you to stop reading, because I believe the suggestions in this post can help you find time for your own creative practice, but you’re online right now.  Get really honest with yourself about how you spend your time. You may even want to track how much time you spend online using a tool like Checky or Moment. I was surprised to read that people are spending up to 23 hours a week online and texting in this Business News Daily article.

Another way that we convince ourselves that we don’t have enough time is by doing things for other people that they could be doing themselves. This happens most often when we have children who will happily absorb all of our time if we allow it. Setting limits and sticking to them may seem hard or unfair. However, in the long run if you’re being unfair to yourself, you may become resentful. Let your children do some of the things you’re doing for them and give them the satisfaction of gaining independence.  Another way our time gets absorbed is by taking care of a loved one who is elderly or has health issues. Ask for help if you need it and take some time for yourself. Otherwise you’ll burn out and may end up with stress related health issues yourself.

Some of us (I’m not guilty of this one) also spend a lot of our free time cleaning house. When it’s all said and done do you want to be the one with the sparkling toilet or would you rather have made a beautiful painting, written a poem or story, or participated in a community theater project?

Finally, look at how much time you’re spending on work and determine if it’s a wise investment. One of my clients was staying well beyond the eight hours a day she was being paid for AND working on weekends. She wasn’t being paid overtime and the company didn’t demonstrate any appreciation for her extra effort.  When she stopped spending more than 40 hours and started taking back her time, her life improved and now she’s dreaming of what she really wants to do. If you’re putting in a lot of extra hours or obsessing about your work even when you’re not physically doing it, please pause to consider why and what you could be doing instead.

Starting a new habit can be challenging and sticking with it can be even harder. I loved the suggestions in B.J. Fogg’s Tiny Habits TED Talk and it helped me to make writing part of my life. Start very small, tie it to an “anchor” behavior which is something you always do (like brushing your teeth), and reward yourself when you do it, even if it’s only to give yourself a “high five” in the mirror! The reward might be something intangible like the great feeling you get from knowing you’re creating something important to you. You can keep your habit in place by putting in on your schedule. I write my creative times on my calendar, just like a regular appointment and I stick to it. On those rare occasions when “Morning Pages” become “Evening Pages” I still know I’ve accomplished my creative goal for the day. You can also check off your creative goals from a “to do” list and it’s satisfying to see those check marks adding up.

Another step in developing a creative habit and making it part of your life is accountability. I was initially very shy about my writing but I joined an online group (which has since dissolved) led by Courtney Carver. The members of the group supported one another in our writing endeavors and provided feedback. If you tell someone else  that you’re going to blog every two weeks or write in your journal every day or paint for 15 minutes a day it helps to have someone to check in with. This can be a friend who will cheer you on or you can look for a group. There are groups on Instagram that have challenges to post a creative project daily for a week, a month, 100 days or even a year. Depending on what your creative output and commitment is you can can always find inspiration and support for your goals. Just don’t fall victim to “compare and despair” and feel that your work isn’t as good as someone else’s work! And yes, I realize I just recommended cutting down the amount of time spent online but it is a way to find encouragement and support.

For some people investing in their creative habit will help make it stick. I joined a class on children’s writing led by Jon Bard called “It’s Your Time” and the fact that I had paid for the class was a good incentive for me to continue writing. You can also work with a coach who will help you through all of the steps, from being aware of your creative calling, to making time for it, developing it into a consistent practice, and providing accountability for you to continue.

A few of the over twenty journals I’ve filled since I began making time for my creative practice.
And a few more…

Is there something in your life that’s calling you to create? Please share in the comments. Start with a few minutes a day, you never know where it might lead you… And now I’m going to paint for a few minutes before I start preparing dinner!

My antique suitcase full of journals…time to buy another!


 

 

 

Perfect is the enemy of good

There are all kinds of reasons for not finishing something and getting it out into the world. For more years than I care to count, I’ve had a vintage metal lawn chair that belonged to my grandmother, Dean Donovan, on my dad’s side of the family. It found its way to my house in Miami, a little worse for the wear, but still a very serviceable chair. It’s comfortable, rocks just a little when you push with your feet against the ground, and brings a lot of good memories.

I forgot to take a picture before I started sanding, but you can get a good idea of what it looked like.

For a long time it has sat on my back porch, covered with a towel, slightly rusty, sometimes used by the cat. I rarely sat in it and it always made me a little sad to see it there. Many years ago my husband stripped off the original navy blue paint and another layer of forest green paint and sprayed on a coat of primer. And for some reason, it never got finished. I kept telling myself I would paint it someday but I was worried about getting it right.

I love the lopsided smile that says “Yes! Paint me!”

This week I got a sudden desire to paint the chair. Monday afternoon I went to Home Depot (site of my previous run in with the roofing project!) and bought a beautiful light aqua color of Rustoleum spray paint. My husband has a nifty little electric sander and collection of sand paper. The primer and rust came off pretty quickly and in two days the chair was sanded down to bare metal.  On Wednesday I sprayed on the first coat of paint and although there were a few drips and a bug or two flew into it, it looked pretty good. Today I put on the second coat and let the chair dry in the sun.

The paint job is not perfect. If it were, I’d probably be afraid to sit in it! But it’s done, it’s good enough and I will enjoy it for many years to come.  As I’m starting my new business I find myself getting caught up in the same kinds of procrastination. What if my website isn’t perfect? What will people think? What if my intake form is missing something? What about scheduling and blog posts and having the right niche?  So I’m putting it out there as I build it, knowing it’s not perfect, but realizing that sometimes it’s more important to have a comfortable chair than a perfect chair. Is there something that you’ve been putting off because you want it to be “just right”? I’d love to talk with you about it, and if the weather is nice I’ll be doing it from my back porch, sitting in a comfortable chair that’s been around for a long time.

p.s. Speaking of imperfection, my friend and fellow coach, Tina Peacock, let me know that she wasn’t able to respond to my last blog post because the contact information wasn’t set up correctly. I tried to fix it but I don’t know if I did it right! So if you want to contact me just send me an email at mialotus@yahoo.com 

I would love to hear from you!